Only a week left

I've only a week remaining in my stint here in Grimsby. Time certainly has a habit of flying by.

I must say that I've really enjoyed the small town medicine experience. I've learned some very interesting things during my family medicine rotation here in small town Ontario.

There's quite a neat memory trick I'd like to share. I picked it up from my preceptor as a way of remembering a whole bunch of blood pressure readings.
Each number is assigned a sound:

0-S
1-T
2-N
3-M
4-R
5-L
6-J or SH
7-K or G
8-F or V
9-B or P

And these are used to create words. As an example, if Mr. Smith had a blood pressure of 120/80, this might translate into ToNS/VaSe. You get vowels for free. So now, you picture Mr. Smith with tons of vases. This works well if you get a whole bunch of blood pressure readings in a row. You pull out the mental picture you've built and voila: you get patient and his/her blood pressure.

You'll find that you start making words with license plates, and PIN numbers and telephone numbers etc... It's like being involved in a constant game of scrabble!

Weddings and such.

As some of you may remember, I spent a good deal of time during high school seated at a piano bench. Each day, Herr Beethoven and I would try to coax music out of an instrument which seemed all too aware of the shortcomings of its player. And while the occasional missed road hockey game was felt very keenly, I must admit that the hours spent tripping up and down the black and white steps were not so ill spent.

Some of the perks are just now beginning to rear their heads. As my classmates arrange their nuptials, they naturally begin to search for classy musicians to add a little "Je ne sais quoi" to the affairs. This summer, my fingers shall glide over the ivories while no less than three couples take their vows.

Actually let's be honest. I'm accompanying Shermeen, who's an incredible violinist. I'm kinda window dressing. There to look pretty. But pretty I do look.

The glitz and the glamour of the ER

Now I'm sure everyone is familiar with "ER", the television show. If you haven't, here's a synopsis: Beautiful young doctors working frantically and brilliantly in a high pressure environment with adoring young nurses.

Well let me tell you. Working in the emergency room here in Grimsby is EXACTLY like that. Only the environment is less frantic. And the nurses are less adoring. In fact, if it weren't for my movie star good looks, there would be very little in common with "ER" the tv show, and the ER here in Grimsby.

Even so, my day was chock full of interesting things:
1. chicken pox! (I don't remember it being so... gooey.)
2. motor vehicle accident! (I think the car was moving at 1 km/hr.)
3. chest pain (yawn... not very interesting. Cardiology is for eggheads! and my Dad. Hi Dad!)
4. lateral epicondylitis (aka Tennis Elbow)

and... the highlight of my day:

5. laceration! Boy was this cool. A carpenter accidentally sat on a lilac plant, and gave himself a deep, long gash on the back of his thigh. The ER doc I was working with was like, "That cut may be too big to do in the ER."
And I was like, "But I have mad, mad skills."
And she was like, "You're crazy, boy! We'll never do it without general anaesthetic!"
And I was like, "Just give me this one chance. I swear, if I let you down, I'll walk out that door and you won't ever have to see me again. I can do this. I KNOW I can do this."
And she was like, "No! You're too wild! You're good... too good. But you got no control!"
And I was like, "I don't need control. Let the pencil pushers show control. I need to let my hands go free."
And she was like, "No! You're not a team player! Look at Hatfield over there. Gets his work done... doesn't make mistakes..."
And I was like, "He doesn't make mistakes because he doesn't take risks! We BOTH know I'm twice the medical student he is. Don't give this laceration to Hatfield. I worked this up. This is MY laceration. I blow this , I'll do all the DRE's for the next week."
And she was like, "....Fine... but I'm warning you..."
but I was already running out the door.

Anyways, long story short, there is one happy carpenter walking around with a Simon original on the back of his thigh. It went better than I expected.

Oh the shame.

I bought biking pants today. I decided that my rump needed more protection since I was biking over 50 km a week. I had thought that I could buy some sort of stylish cargo pant that was specially designed for biking.

No such luck.

Today, I bought what I swore I'd never buy. Today, I bought my very first pair of...
spandex pants.

What can I say? They are very tight fitting, and leave little to the imagination. Luckily, I have monster thighs. Well, not really.

Currently, I wear them underneath my sweat pants. I'm not yet ready to face the world clothed only in spandex.

To recap:
cost of my current bicycle = $99 (all figures before tax)
cost of my current bike seat = $55
cost of my current bike pants = $54
cost of my current bike helmet = $30

Priorities, priorities.

On another note, I just read a book by David Sedaris called Me Talk Pretty One Day. It's very funny. I think it's a modern classic. I really do.

I was there the night Boys II Men played Casinorama

May I commence this concert review with the observation that Casinorama is waaaaay out in the middle of nowhere. I'm shocked that they were able to book Boys II Men, much less Alicia Keys the week previous.

First off, it should be known that only three of quarters of Boys II Men showed up. Instead of a quartet, a trio performed. They didn't explain what happened to the fourth fellow. Feeling somewhat ripped off, my cousin and I sat in the crowd debating what their opening number would/should be.

Before we knew it, the moment was on us, and Boys II Men (minus 1) burst onto stage. Two merciless facts were quickly unveiled.

1. They're not so young anymore. As someone commented, "Men II Geriatrics" may be more suitable a monicker.

2. They're really good! As in they sound very much like they do on the radio. Which, in this jaded era of Britney Spears, is pretty great!

There was the skinny guy, who was really good. There was a larger guy (I don't remember Boys II Men having a such a... well-built fellow.) who was really, really good. And then there was the medium sized guy who always sang falsetto and was clearly the weakest link.

They opened with some song I didn't know. After a bit of chitchat to settle the crowd, they launched into On Bended Knee. The crowd went nuts, and duly applauded their overly drawn out notes. (The last word of the song was drawn out for what seemed like a minute. The guy would stop in the middle of the word, wait for us to applaud, and then continue. He stopped at least THREE times. It was ludicrous. I loved it.)

I think they may have sang another song or two before announcing that they were going to be performing songs from their new "throwback" album. (ie, Oldies songs, redone with a little Boys II Men flavour.) Well, that just sucked the life out of the room. At one point, the skinny guy did that thing where he sings a line, and then points the mic at the crowd so that they sing the next line. Dead silence.

How on earth would they redeem this mess of a concert? I'm glad you asked.

After four or five of their "new" songs, they announced that it was time to go back to their "classic" songs. Instantly a charge went through the crowd. People started waking up. Did this mean what we thought it did?

YES! In quick succession came Water Runs Dry (My new favourite Boys II Men song. Though they didn't do a very good job of it.), A Song for Mama (They encouraged us to use our cellphones to call our mothers, so that they could hear the song. I phoned, but I think I got the machine.), and then... I'll Make Love to You (For this number, the boys each walked out with a dozen roses. That cued a MOB of women to descend to the stage to try and catch one.) I'll admit at this point, the concert was rocking pretty hard. Everyone was singing along, taking pictures etc... I was really FEELING my Boys II Men.

They did that ABCDEFG song as part of their encore. It was great, but I think it was pretty clear that everyone had been there to hear "I'll Make Love to You". And with that being done, everything else was just extra pickles in the sandwich. They finished with End of the Road, and that was that.

So. In summary.

1. I loved concert. Heard all the songs I wanted to hear. Not too many songs I didn't want to hear. It really brought me back to those middle school days.

2. The Boys have tried to incorporate some dance moves into their act. This is a big, big mistake. A really skinny guy and a really, uh, big-boned guy dancing BADLY, while another guy sings falsetto is just... well...

3. That being said, it'd be really cool to be able to do what they do. For awhile at least. Maybe not for as long as they've been at it... but for awhile.


Simon


A somewhat unrelated point: Coolest site on the internet!

Boys II Men

Tomorrow, I'm going with my cousin (well technically, she's my niece.) to see Boys II Men. They are playing at Casino Rama outside Orillia.

I remember them being HUGE when I was in grade eight or nine. I had no idea that they were still at it. I have such fond memories of my father denouncing their smutty smutty music. Seems positively wholesome by today's standards!

I am a wizard. A culinary wizard.

As some of you may know already, I'm living in the home of a retired couple. They are luvly people, and our arrangement is such that I not only have a wonderful place to stay, but I am also free to eat any and all food that is in their house. I almost pity them their folly.

Anyways, in a gesture of good will, and in appreciation for all the times they've fixed me dinner, I made some of my mother's famous chicken curry tonite. It was a super hit. They asked me for the recipe and everything. They particularly liked the apples I threw in on a lark. How about that?

Unfortunately, I've now managed to exhaust all my culinary expertise in one fell swoop. I won't likely be doing any more cooking... unless they want the chicken curry again!

Life as a deck of cards

There is a song in the movie Pocahontas, comparing life to a river, always changing, always flowing.

It is an analogy that I think most people would agree with. Indeed, I've always perceived life to be a continuous stream of events. Time is linear and like water, only flows in one direction.

A more wordly and educated man would expand on this analogy. I am not this man, so I will continue my writing letting you, the reader, expand in your head.

I've decided to try out a new life perspective. Life is a deck of cards. The Simon of yesterday, ISN'T the Simon of tomorrow. Rather, he is an altogether different Simon. Both Simon's have always, and will always continue to exist, and each Simon is confined in a self contained, unique universe. Time is an illusion which each Simon (of which there are infinite) uses as to help him explain his experiences in his particular universe.

A more erudite and scholarly man would explain this further. Not me!

I had a conclusion. But unfortunately, I've just realized that I've contradicted myself in formulating it.

Goodness. Much ado about nothing? I wonder.


simon

When you wake up ... and the coffee isn't so good.

I think I'm beginning to realize that I am not who I thought I am. Or rather, I'm not who I thought I'd be.

I'm less ethical, have fewer skills, am not as smart, not as good looking and not nearly as driven as I thought I'd be. As I need to be.

I don't know if I'm disappointed in myself or what. I am who I am... and I'm not who I dreamed I'd be when I 'grew up'.

There's a bit of debate now, going on in my head, about what I'll do about the situation.

I'll either accept it, or I'll fight it. Change it. But I don't know.

Either way. I am who I am. And I shan't hold anybody else responsible for it but me.