Pangs of existential angst

It is human nature to search for greater meaning in life. Is it possible to find this without religion? I think it's very hard to figure out what really matters to you. And it's really really hard to act on it.

My sister was complaining the other day, about how she got very bored when biking to work. This made me wonder why I'm never bored despite the daily commutes on blade or bike that I make to and from the hospital.
I've concluded that I live in fantasy worlds much more than the average person. Let's just say I'm biking to work. I'll be thinking about things like:

1) If I were an NBA athlete. What would it be like? I'd be a point guard of course. But how would I handle the fame and adoration? Would I be as big as Yao in Asia?
2) What if suddenly, everyone on the planet was endowed with 'animal' powers. Like wings, or fins, or tails. I'd have wings of course. And they'd be impossibly grand and beautiful. And I'd fly to Vancouver and have wonderful fun there.
3) What if I had taken a slightly different path somewhere along the line? Where would I be? I always seem to imagine better scenarios, where I'm more than I am now.

Anyways, the bottom line is that I'm thinking that all my daydreaming has really been like junkfood for the mind. Like watching a sitcom if you will. Other people get bored, I just tune into whatever is playing in my head. I'm beginning to feel like this is a waste of 'thinking' time.

Imagine, instead of daydreaming, I were to go over medicine concepts instead. Harder work, surely, but certainly more productive. In fact, I feel that all this thinking about what never will be is actually counterproductive, in many ways. It is time to be happier with the life I have, not imagine an impossible world where things are better! I think some more realistic thought will help me live the life I have.

Curious incident of the Dog in the Night-Time

I just finished reading the above mentioned book. It's a story told from the point of view of an autistic boy, as he tries to solve a mystery involving the death of his neighbour's dog.

I found it to be quite a tragic book. The idea of using an autistic child as a narrator is really quite novel. I'm told the author does quite a good job of it. In fact, the child psychiatrist I worked with recommended the book to people looking for better understanding into the autistic spectrum of disorders. In the end, I do recommend the book. It is a short and easy read. I'm not sure whether I enjoyed it though.

I played road hockey today with some friends from high school. It's wonderful how some things don't change.

May the Force be with you.

The idyllic days of my all too short vacation continue to glide past.

Yesterday, I went with my parents and sister to see the newest Star Wars movie. We all agreed that it was goodly entertaining. Thoughts:

1) I want to be a Jedi. But not one of those wussy Jedi who get killed off quickly and without fuss.
2) My sister and I are in agreement that there is not enough time devoted to Anakin's decent into Darth Vader. He goes from being quite nice to killing younglings too quickly.
3) Yoda talks ridiculous. Imagine the difficulties that could come out of giving an order Yoda style. "Kill him...do not." oops. too late.
4) A real friend would not just stand around if you were on fire. I hope.

Earlier that day, I had gone with my parents to see a one-man play at the Fringe Festival while my sister was at art class. It was really not very good. I think I'd like to write a play.

Post-op day two

All four of my wisdom teeth escaped the confines of my jaws this past Monday.

My recovery thus far has thankfully been smooth and uneventful. I stopped taking tylenol 3's today, although I'll admit that I have likely been overaggressive with my pain management. There was a time when I tried to stay away from pills for as long as I could bear to. Those days have long since passed. I now pop pills with happy abandon.

I'd type more but I've hurt my left thumb learning to play a Mozart Sonatina, and am thus limited to typing with one hand. Woe is me.

Home!

I'm going back to Ottawa today!

A LOT of my classmates will be in Ottawa doing electives, so hopefully we'll be able to meet up and fun and whatnot.

There's a ginormous family reunion happening in just over a week. This shall be spectacular.

I'm having my wisdom teeth removed tomorrow!

I'm done psychiatry! This is sorta good, because things went haywire with my rotation midway through (battles between admin and my supervisor, which meant that she was never there.) I start surgery next. I'm looking forward to this, because I have mad mad skillz.

I'm living by myself starting in September! I'm really looking forward to this.

I played at another classmates wedding yesterday! It was WAAAAAY up north in the boonies. But good times.

My ride is coming in mere minutes. Must fly!

Rollersafety

Since the appropriation of my bicycle seat by parties yet unknown, I have taken to rollerblading the streets of hamilton as my primary mode of transport.

While I am speedier on my bicycle, I like to think that I am quite a bit more mobile and nimble whilst on blades.

The trouble with the blades is that stopping is a slow process. I'd estimate that it takes me roughly two sidewalk squares to come to a complete stop. This hasn't been too problematic as yet, but this morning on the way to work, it almost got messy.

I was approaching an intersection. Lucky for me, the green 'walk' sign was flashing. Unlucky for me, the bus making a turn didn't seem to want to recognize my right of way. It became apparent to me roughly 1.5 sidewalk squares away from the intersection, that the bus was determined to make a turn. I braked. Roughly 1/2 sidewalk squares away from the intersection, I realized that unless the time-space continuum were to warp in my vicinity, I WOULD be running into the side of a moving bus. At this point, I attempted a hockey stop. Naturally, I fell and rolled over into the road. At this point, the bus was midway through it's turn. From my vantage point on the road, the rear wheel of the bus was on course to roll over at least part of my body. So I did an Indiana Jones type roll back onto the sidewalk.

Fortunately for me, all is suffered was a scraped elbow and bruised hip. As I continued more cautiously to work, I thought how things such as 'right' and 'wrong' are sometimes not that relevant in real life. It was 'wrong' for the bus to turn, given that I had right of way... but if I had been squished under a bus, I don't think such thoughts would have been much solace.

Simon in red.

I streaked my hair red this past weekend. I got it done at the hair school.

I'm a big believer in hair schools. I think that if patients are willing to have students like me 'doctor' them, the least I can do is give back to the learning process and let students 'barber' me. It's kinda neat, because the instructors get really excited when you ask for different things (ie, like streaks, or like when I asked for a fauxhawk awhile ago), and the students are happy to be learning new things.

I try and alternate between the hair school and cutting it myself. That way I only look silly half the time.

Chez Simon

For dinner tonite, I made my first conscious foray into the arena of fusion food. East meets West, so to speak.

Generally speaking, my current culinary system is to cook some sort of dish and eat it with either rice or noodles. It occurred to me that for many, bread takes the place of rice as a staple food. With this thought in mind, I made an ambitious leap, producing my very first Stir Fried Bread dish, as opposed to the very standard, Stir Fried Rice. To the best of my knowledge, there have been no previous attempts to stir fry bread. I'm currently trying to think of the best possible name for this whole new category of food. My ideas so far:

1. Stir Fried Bread
2. Gwai Lo Stir Fry
3. Chinese Bread Party

I'm open to any other suggestions. Anyways, this is what it looked like:



Recipe: Stir fry some vegetables. Mix some corn starch with water and throw it in. Add honey mustard. Tear up some bread and throw it in.

The honey mustard turned out better than I thought it would. I threw it in on a lark, and I worried for a few moments that I had ruined everything. The bread was a bit stale, but you really couldn't tell once it had been stir fried.

Bottom line: Resounding success. No need to go through the hassle of cooking rice, tasted good, and an excellent use of old bread. I am a genius.

In other news, I bought an Umbro brand, full sized indoor soccer ball for $2.99. The original price is $24.99. I might go back tomorrow and buy another one.

Telerevisionism

I've just watched season one of Grey's Anatomy. (I watch while I eat. Honest. It's not like I have buckets of time or anything. Seriously). It's an alright show, but it's made me think about the positive cornucopia of doctor type shows currently on the telly.

1. ER - I've never really watched ER. My uncle Alex is an emergency doctor, and it just doesn't seem likely that some TV show could possibly compare to the excitement and manliness that is his life.

2. Scrubs - My friend Richard introduced me to this odd little comedy. I've seen basically every episode. They have a nice formula (quirky lead character, every episode has three story lines, all of which resolve neatly and simultaneously during a touching voice over.) Medical school keeps me busy. Really.

3. Nip/Tuck - I've seen a few episodes of this. I think my sister Sarah likes it. She was always one for the gruesome. It's kinda racy actually. Sarah, stop watching this show!

4. Grey's Anatomy - Recommended by Gaby. It's about surgical interns. OK so far. The title is a play on a well known anatomy text, Gray's Anatomy.

5. House - I've never seen this, but someone wiser than I absolutely adores it.

Generally speaking, I think there are some misconceptions about medicine that one could acquire from watching these shows.

Truths about medicine (as seen by me, at this point in time. not a comprehensive list.)

1. Doctors, nurses, patients etc... are not usually that good looking.

2. The role of medical students is somewhat... peripheral usually. We're not the ones chopping/dicing things.

3. Hospital wards smell funny. (This isn't properly appreciated on TV.)

4. Renegade doctors who break rules and piss people off don't get idolized.

5. Medicine is a LOT of waiting around. And a LOT of common, not so exciting things.

I've heard that there is going to be a shortage of tradespeople in coming years. They need to make some exciting shows about plumbers, carpenters etc. That would encourage people to pursue those fields, I think.

In the end, all these programs are chasing the same gold standard anyways.

Square

Sixteen years ago, my parents brought me to my first protest rally. It was on Parliament Hill.
I remember being interviewed by newsreporters. I was young and the bright lights of their video cameras dazzled me. They asked me why I was there. I said something to the effect of "I don't know. My dad brought me."
I'm certain my parents would have explained the situation to me. But I honestly don't think I had a clue what I was there to protest. I wish that I could go back in time and give my answer again.
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed individuals can change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has" - Margaret Mead

The sorting hat says...

be sorted @ nimbo.net

I actually thought I'd be a hufflepuff. Can't fight the sorting hat! Everyone take the quiz and write down what house you get sorted into in the comments section.

Oh what fun!

EPT - Emergency Psychiatric Team

Last night, I was on call for emergency psychiatry. As usual, I saw many fascinating things, and had a very enjoyable (if rather sleepless) night.

I've heard tell of a 'medical student syndrome', where medical students start worrying that they themselves are suffering from the afflictions which they are studying. Until psychiatry, I've been fairly immune to this. (In stark contrast to my one friend, who worried that he was getting diabetes, and went so far as to test his urine for protein. Odd fellow.) In studying psychiatry, I'm beginning to wonder whether I have shades of hypomania or borderline personality disorder.

I've also noticed that as a group, the psychiatry residents are definitely among the most homely. And by that I mean... least pretty. At least in the conventional sense. However, despite their peculiar appearances, I've noticed that the psychiatry residents are almost all married. There's a lesson in here somewhere.

Finally, all this psychiatry has got me thinking about personal autonomy. It seems that some diagnoses by and large excuse a patient for the majority of his/her behaviour. And I have to admit, in many cases, this appears to make sense. Personally though, I believe free will to be one of the fundamental things that makes us human and alive. There are many more grey zones in life than one would expect!

Super fun times at McMaster

I should tell you all about a game we played today in tutorial (our psychiatrist-facilitator dude was late). I read about the game in a book. You should all play it with your friends. The kids in my class were all like, "Simon, we're too cool for games. Sit down you big loser. And get a haircut." But they were loving it by the end. Truly.

Kay, here's what happens. You split into two teams. Each team then nominates a person. Let's call them Carol and Simon.
Kay, Carol and Simon then put their heads together and come up with a word. Any word. The object of the game is to get their team to say the word. Carol and Simon then take turns saying one word ONLY to their team, and then their team tries to guess the word. If they don't get it, the other team gets a turn. Clear as mud. I shall give an example.

The first word we chose was "Pencil". Since Carol chose this word, Simon goes first.

"Pen" says Simon.
"Writing" guesses his team.
Wrong, so now it's Carol's turn.
"Lead" she says.
Her team, having heard Simon say pen, and Carol say lead, guess "Pencil!"

And they get a point.

It's waaaay cool with neat words.
For example, I chose the word Munchausen.
Carol goes first, and says "Illness". Her team guesses "Medicine".
I say "Psychiatric". My team guesses "Schizophrenia".
Carol says "Dependent". Her team guesses "Borderline".
I say "Proxy!". My team gets "Munchausen" immediately!

It's truly super wackloads of fun.

Congratulations Justine!

My little sister got into medical school!

It's incredible how fast kids grow up. Just yesterday she was a wee tyke...