I'm at the hospital. It's the last day of my surgery rotation, and I'm the unfortunate soul who lucked into being on call. It's the end of rotation for a lot of my friends, and it sounds like tonite will be quite a night out. Ah well.
I did very well on the written half of my surgical exam. I believe this is the only exam in my entire life (outside of piano exams), where I didn't rely on last minute cramming. It's an entirely different feeling. I find that I know things without remembering exactly when/where I read or saw them. I think there are a few things that made my studying successful:
1. Study with purpose. You have to plan what you want to accomplish/set goals, or else it just doesn't work. You need a plan!
2. Study away from home. I'm much too easily distracted. I went to the hospital to study. Ain't nothing to distract me in a hospital!
3. Study consistently. Commit to leaving your house to study. And then leave. No matter what.
It kinda makes me wonder what I was up to before. Who knows.
On another note, there was a retirement party for one of the nurses, and I'm STILL snacking on the leftovers. I can not describe how wonderful this is. I think if med school included an all you can eat buffet, it would be perfect.
Friday, August 26, 2005
Monday, August 22, 2005
So. Ticked. Off.
I returned to the hospital today after my exam. This may not have been a good idea.
To make a long story short, one of my residents acted in a way I thought was very mean-spirited and unprofessional. In the minutes that followed, I questioned an attending about whether her requested consult really needed to be done stat.
She evidently took this the wrong way, because she gave me a bit of a talk. And then, her medical student gave me another talk. (In retrospect, I suppose at my current level, I have to just accept the abuse of attendings. But I will not have another medical student talk to me like that.)
Anyways, the net result was that I spent a good part of the day quite worked up, and quite furious at my resident. I'm not sure what my next course of action will be. I will likely talk to the resident tomorrow to try and clear the air. I also plan to talk to one of the nice ladies at the MD office. The real question is whether I should bring this to the attention of one of the attending surgeons. We shall see.
This surgical clerkship rotation has not been easy. I don't understand an educational system where you give people with just ONE more year of experience absolute power over those under them. They need to give medical students some sort of protection. Some rules that apply absolutely, that defend our purpose in the hospital. Which is primarily to learn things.
My friends have advised that I sleep on this. And I will. I won't vandalize any vehicles or anything. I've also promised that I will consult with someone before I decide to confront the resident or a staff.
On my way to the hospital, someone driving by threw an egg at me. It splattered on the sidewalk in front of me.
Why aren't people kind?
To make a long story short, one of my residents acted in a way I thought was very mean-spirited and unprofessional. In the minutes that followed, I questioned an attending about whether her requested consult really needed to be done stat.
She evidently took this the wrong way, because she gave me a bit of a talk. And then, her medical student gave me another talk. (In retrospect, I suppose at my current level, I have to just accept the abuse of attendings. But I will not have another medical student talk to me like that.)
Anyways, the net result was that I spent a good part of the day quite worked up, and quite furious at my resident. I'm not sure what my next course of action will be. I will likely talk to the resident tomorrow to try and clear the air. I also plan to talk to one of the nice ladies at the MD office. The real question is whether I should bring this to the attention of one of the attending surgeons. We shall see.
This surgical clerkship rotation has not been easy. I don't understand an educational system where you give people with just ONE more year of experience absolute power over those under them. They need to give medical students some sort of protection. Some rules that apply absolutely, that defend our purpose in the hospital. Which is primarily to learn things.
My friends have advised that I sleep on this. And I will. I won't vandalize any vehicles or anything. I've also promised that I will consult with someone before I decide to confront the resident or a staff.
On my way to the hospital, someone driving by threw an egg at me. It splattered on the sidewalk in front of me.
Why aren't people kind?
Something a little more concrete
I passed my surgery oral exam!
The only question that caught me a bit off-guard was the one on kidney stones. I was expecting a question on scrotal masses.
Either way, it's nice to have that over with. I was nervous initially, but thing settled down quickly and all in all went quite well. I have my written exam on Wednesday, one more week of surgery after that, and then I'm on to the much less demanding world of anaesthesia. phew.
If there is anything I'll be taking away from this rotation, it's the importance of being nice to those lower on the totempole. It goes a long way in terms of overall karma, I think.
Hopefully will get to have dinner with niece tonite. We shall see.
The only question that caught me a bit off-guard was the one on kidney stones. I was expecting a question on scrotal masses.
Either way, it's nice to have that over with. I was nervous initially, but thing settled down quickly and all in all went quite well. I have my written exam on Wednesday, one more week of surgery after that, and then I'm on to the much less demanding world of anaesthesia. phew.
If there is anything I'll be taking away from this rotation, it's the importance of being nice to those lower on the totempole. It goes a long way in terms of overall karma, I think.
Hopefully will get to have dinner with niece tonite. We shall see.
Saturday, August 20, 2005
On ambiguity
We, that is to say humans, don't deal with ambiguity terribly well. Among the many dissapointments that life keeps in store for us is the realization that the razor line between right and wrong cut into the words of fairy tales, fables and legends does not in fact exist at all.
It's all in greyscale! No absolutes. Sliding standards and slippery slopes.
It is time to change. Time to aim for a purity of intention so clear that any grey looks dark by comparison. Right for the sake of right itself.
It's all in greyscale! No absolutes. Sliding standards and slippery slopes.
It is time to change. Time to aim for a purity of intention so clear that any grey looks dark by comparison. Right for the sake of right itself.
Thursday, August 18, 2005
All this will one day be yours
6am, and I'm leaning against the computer desk, waiting to round on the patients on the floor. I was up too late last night (note to father: I was studying. Really.), and so I accept my current state with all the grace I can muster.
I think to myself, wouldn't it be interesting if little Simon (say Simon when he was 9 years old) was suddenly presented with a box. The contents of the box would be whatever is currently on my person. I suppose the box would say : Little Simon! This box contains what you will be wearing on Aug. 18 2005. Love, Big Simon.
I think part of why I wonder this is because it seems that a lot of little things combined can say an awful lot about you. To whit:
Little Simon opens box to find:
1. One pair of New Balance sneakers
Desccription: These are comfortable shoes. They are also the cheapest possible pair I could find. The also are so worn that I have a pebble lodged into the heel that will not be gouged out.
Conclusion: Big Simon is not so stylish a guy.
2. One pair of scrubs. Size large pants. Size medium top.
Description: I have notes scribbled up both pant legs. Random blood pressures, room numbers etc...
Conclusion: Big Simon appears to be doing something medical. He probably has a palm pilot like most medical students (He does.), but clearly can't be bothered to use it. He also appears to have a disproportionately small upper body, or a disproportionately large lower body.
3. One lab coat. Little medical books in pockets
Description: Short. Stained.
Conclusion: Aaah. A medical student.
4. One stethoscope.
Description: An exceedingly low functioning cheap-o affair.
Conclusion: Big Simon's good stethoscope must have been stolen!
5. Various sraps of paper
Description: One shopping list (Bread, Gelato, Yogourt, Cheese, Meat, Pepper). One learning list (Bowel Obstruction, Appendicitis, Biliary Colic). One patient list (Names confidential). A letter addressed to nobody. (Hastily written. Words crossed in and crossed out. Will never be sent.)
Conclusion: Big Simon thinks too much or thinks too little.
In all likelihood, Little Simon will be thinking simpler things like:
Wow, I'll be taller than Dad!
I hope those stains aren't what I think they are!
But, it would be so wonderful,
so very, very special,
to be able to sit Little Simon down. And explain everything to him. Explain why I carry what I carry. Explain what it means. Explain where I am. Explain where he'll be. And then I'd give the kid a hug. Because all children (even Little Simon's!) could do with more hugs.
I think to myself, wouldn't it be interesting if little Simon (say Simon when he was 9 years old) was suddenly presented with a box. The contents of the box would be whatever is currently on my person. I suppose the box would say : Little Simon! This box contains what you will be wearing on Aug. 18 2005. Love, Big Simon.
I think part of why I wonder this is because it seems that a lot of little things combined can say an awful lot about you. To whit:
Little Simon opens box to find:
1. One pair of New Balance sneakers
Desccription: These are comfortable shoes. They are also the cheapest possible pair I could find. The also are so worn that I have a pebble lodged into the heel that will not be gouged out.
Conclusion: Big Simon is not so stylish a guy.
2. One pair of scrubs. Size large pants. Size medium top.
Description: I have notes scribbled up both pant legs. Random blood pressures, room numbers etc...
Conclusion: Big Simon appears to be doing something medical. He probably has a palm pilot like most medical students (He does.), but clearly can't be bothered to use it. He also appears to have a disproportionately small upper body, or a disproportionately large lower body.
3. One lab coat. Little medical books in pockets
Description: Short. Stained.
Conclusion: Aaah. A medical student.
4. One stethoscope.
Description: An exceedingly low functioning cheap-o affair.
Conclusion: Big Simon's good stethoscope must have been stolen!
5. Various sraps of paper
Description: One shopping list (Bread, Gelato, Yogourt, Cheese, Meat, Pepper). One learning list (Bowel Obstruction, Appendicitis, Biliary Colic). One patient list (Names confidential). A letter addressed to nobody. (Hastily written. Words crossed in and crossed out. Will never be sent.)
Conclusion: Big Simon thinks too much or thinks too little.
In all likelihood, Little Simon will be thinking simpler things like:
Wow, I'll be taller than Dad!
I hope those stains aren't what I think they are!
But, it would be so wonderful,
so very, very special,
to be able to sit Little Simon down. And explain everything to him. Explain why I carry what I carry. Explain what it means. Explain where I am. Explain where he'll be. And then I'd give the kid a hug. Because all children (even Little Simon's!) could do with more hugs.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
100 entries in Simonscapes
100 moments, 100 windows into my day, into my life.
I wonder if the gestalt of who I am can be understood by the truths that slip between the cracks of these, my carefully/carelessly edited digital tracings?
Will the truth set you free if you're unable to differentiate between it and fiction?
simon
I wonder if the gestalt of who I am can be understood by the truths that slip between the cracks of these, my carefully/carelessly edited digital tracings?
Will the truth set you free if you're unable to differentiate between it and fiction?
simon
Monday, August 15, 2005
Hospital High
I was on call yesterday, so I'm now sitting at home, tip-tapping on my computer as the afternoon sun lights up the dust around me.
Actually, my resident suggested I should stay, but after consideration of several factors,
1. I'm entitled to go home.
2. No one will notice my absence.
3. It is not in the best interests of my learning to stay,
I decided to hoof it.
This recent rotation has some aspects of early high school to it. My residents are virtually all PGY-1's. That is to say that they graduated from medical school just this year. This makes for a very bizarre social dynamic because although we're all about the same age, the residents:
1. Help to evaluate our performance
2. Order us around
3. Are much more directly responsible for patient care
The bottom line, I suppose is that residents, despite being our peers, hold power over us. And we medical students do our best to impress them.
We pander to the residents much as 'geeky' kids would to the 'cool' kids.
I did not like this in high school. And I do not like it now.
Actually, my resident suggested I should stay, but after consideration of several factors,
1. I'm entitled to go home.
2. No one will notice my absence.
3. It is not in the best interests of my learning to stay,
I decided to hoof it.
This recent rotation has some aspects of early high school to it. My residents are virtually all PGY-1's. That is to say that they graduated from medical school just this year. This makes for a very bizarre social dynamic because although we're all about the same age, the residents:
1. Help to evaluate our performance
2. Order us around
3. Are much more directly responsible for patient care
The bottom line, I suppose is that residents, despite being our peers, hold power over us. And we medical students do our best to impress them.
We pander to the residents much as 'geeky' kids would to the 'cool' kids.
I did not like this in high school. And I do not like it now.
Saturday, August 13, 2005
Internetting
The use of the internet as a source of information has ballooned before my eyes. There was time when my teachers in high school would not allow internet sources due to their suspect validity.
Now, medical students 'google' questions about patient managment!
The only thing more astounding than the propagation of facts has been the propagation of thoughts and opinions.
Take for example, the recent Eric Lindros trade. A quick search will reveal the details about the trade. Who got what for how much. But this isn't anything newsprint won't bring you.
If you look a little bit online, you'll find all SORTS of commentary about the trade. From personal websites, to blogs, to message forums etc...
More than likely, you'll run across someone who's opinion is exactly like your own.
Why I mention this is because I think it's easy to use the internet as a crutch. Before forming your own opinion, it's possible to sample thousands of others! Indeed, sometimes it hardly seems worth forming an opinion if you can just go read and adopt someone else's.
A thought use to be worth a penny. With such an excess of thoughts floating around, they can't possibly be worth even that much nowadays.
Now, medical students 'google' questions about patient managment!
The only thing more astounding than the propagation of facts has been the propagation of thoughts and opinions.
Take for example, the recent Eric Lindros trade. A quick search will reveal the details about the trade. Who got what for how much. But this isn't anything newsprint won't bring you.
If you look a little bit online, you'll find all SORTS of commentary about the trade. From personal websites, to blogs, to message forums etc...
More than likely, you'll run across someone who's opinion is exactly like your own.
Why I mention this is because I think it's easy to use the internet as a crutch. Before forming your own opinion, it's possible to sample thousands of others! Indeed, sometimes it hardly seems worth forming an opinion if you can just go read and adopt someone else's.
A thought use to be worth a penny. With such an excess of thoughts floating around, they can't possibly be worth even that much nowadays.
Thursday, August 11, 2005
And the truth shall set you free.
Sometimes, if one is lucky (or unlucky depending on one's point of view), sheer happenstance and unlikely circumstance will combine just so...
..and you'll get a glimpse of yourself from the eyes of another. The rose coloured glasses we customarily put on while wiping the vestiges of slumber from our heavy lids are torn off, and we can see, if just for a moment, what others see.
Clutch lamely at the shreds of pride which had formerly cloaked and hidden you so well. But live with more clarity as cobwebs are swept mercilessly from your mind!
..and you'll get a glimpse of yourself from the eyes of another. The rose coloured glasses we customarily put on while wiping the vestiges of slumber from our heavy lids are torn off, and we can see, if just for a moment, what others see.
Clutch lamely at the shreds of pride which had formerly cloaked and hidden you so well. But live with more clarity as cobwebs are swept mercilessly from your mind!
Monday, August 08, 2005
Reputations
If you move your finger laterally across your field of view, at some point, it disappears as it moves into your blindspot.
How is it that we don't remark upon this blindspot in our day to day activities?
Our brains fill in the space. It takes the information it DOES have, and uses it to fill the gap.
I think the human mind has a tendency towards this on a much more macroscopic scale. We are quick to classify, to sort people based on very little information.
To wit, you see a man with multiple piercings and tattoos who sits smoking in dirty clothing on the curb. Immediately, you assume a whole constellation of things about this man.
Now, I doubt we could function without the ability to make quick judgements about those around us. And in the context of strangers, this is for the most part a harmless habit.
However, I think we should stop and think about the judgements we make about those closer to us. What do we assume about those we know well? On what basis do we believe what we believe? Do we believe what we believe to hide from a more unpleasant truth?
How is it that we don't remark upon this blindspot in our day to day activities?
Our brains fill in the space. It takes the information it DOES have, and uses it to fill the gap.
I think the human mind has a tendency towards this on a much more macroscopic scale. We are quick to classify, to sort people based on very little information.
To wit, you see a man with multiple piercings and tattoos who sits smoking in dirty clothing on the curb. Immediately, you assume a whole constellation of things about this man.
Now, I doubt we could function without the ability to make quick judgements about those around us. And in the context of strangers, this is for the most part a harmless habit.
However, I think we should stop and think about the judgements we make about those closer to us. What do we assume about those we know well? On what basis do we believe what we believe? Do we believe what we believe to hide from a more unpleasant truth?
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Australians in Toronto
Cousins Roy and Leo were both Toronto this past weekend!
They had gone for a weeklong jaunt to Cuba. I recently saw Leo in Vancouver, but I haven't seen Roy in.. 8 or 9 years I think.
They brought the expected goodies back from Cuba, some of which were enjoyed in lazy fashion upon Uncle Alex and Auntie Elaine's backyard deck.
After a lifetime of being the oldest cousin, it was refreshing to be youngest.
Thanks to Cousin Roy for giving me his copy of the latest Harry Potter book!
They had gone for a weeklong jaunt to Cuba. I recently saw Leo in Vancouver, but I haven't seen Roy in.. 8 or 9 years I think.
They brought the expected goodies back from Cuba, some of which were enjoyed in lazy fashion upon Uncle Alex and Auntie Elaine's backyard deck.
After a lifetime of being the oldest cousin, it was refreshing to be youngest.
Thanks to Cousin Roy for giving me his copy of the latest Harry Potter book!
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